One Year Together!

It is hard to believe it has been one year since we met our sweet little John. In other ways it seems like it was forever ago. He is a blessing and a joy. He makes us laugh out loud. We love it when he says things like, "What doing?" or "Where going?" He used to call Cora, "Corup" and Kate, "Mei Mei". He still calls Lydia "Jie Jie".  John is full of life and energy. He is sweet and helpful - my boy loves to clean, thank you very much John! He loves life and continues to love being in our family. We love you too, John!

John's referral photo

John today!

How We Have Fun in Idaho

We are really liking Idaho. We bought a place with 7 acres and are loving every minute of it. One of our favorite activities is flood irrigating the yard - yeah I know, it sounds very farm like, and it is. We flood irrigate and then go "swimming" and play a roaring game of football.

Another Move

Well, it was too good to be true. We are moving from Utah. The job market is not so good here, so we are moving to Idaho. I never thought I would be an Idaho resident, but Idaho, ready or not,  here we come!

I have loved living next door to my younger sister Savanna. I have loved being close to my parents, Rick's parents and other siblings. Heavenly Father for some beautiful reason allowed us to have the exact experience in Utah of which we had dreamed. I really wanted to have my kids grow up here close to family, but Heavenly Father has a different plan for us and I am now ready to do whatever he is asking (I wasn't so excited at first).

Hiking Mount Olympus

Rick and Brig hiked Mount Olympus today. I am so proud of Brigham! He has really turned out to be an amazing mountain goat. He can  climb like his dad. The two left early and came back late. This is what Wikepedia says about Mount Olympus.

Mount Olympus in the U.S. state of Utah, is one of the most prominent and recognizable mountains viewable from practically every location in the Salt Lake Valley. Mount Olympus is not the tallest peak along the Wasatch Front, but its unusual form and location make it a popular hiking destination for locals. The mountain is situated immediately east of the center of the Salt Lake Valley (due east from Murray and Taylorsville). One distinctive feature of the mountain is its twin peaks, and other outcroppings, the highest of which is called "Summit Peak" and towers above the valley to an elevation of 9,026 feet (2,751 m). Thus, the peak looms about 4,800 feet (1,463 m) above the valley floor.

I love that these two make a big hike part of their summer fun together.

Family Pictures 2013

We were in Colorado Springs. Since we were there, I had to ask our favorite Colorado photographer to take some more pictures of our family. A few years ago, I started taking pictures of me with each child. It is a tradition that I really love. Thanks Joyana, it was so good to see you and your cuties again!

A Fancy Lunch

Cora invited me to a fancy lunch at La Caille. It is a really beautiful and expensive french restaurant. We got a slamming deal because we went with Cora's french class. She ate her first (and hopefully last escargot - sorry it is a slug in garlic - I don't get it). It was great to spend some special time with my 8th grade cutie!

Lessons Learned ... so far

I have been thinking about this topic for such a long time. We have been with John for five months now. In some ways it feels like yesterday in others it feels like this is how it has always been. Since John has been home, I have combed over other's blogs looking for some help on this transition. What I have discovered, is there are not a lot of people talking about the specifics of the first few months home.  The result of my discovery is feeling a little isolated in this experience. So .... I thought I would talk about some of the nitty gritty details that we went through in these first few months, what we have learned and what we still need to learn. The hope is that others will see a light at the end of the tunnel, and feel supported through this cyber friendship.

In case you didn't know, making big life changes in a family does not come without some hiccups. Even though I have experienced bringing 5 babies home from the hospital, multiple moves, job changes, etc. adoption has been it's very own experience - totally different from anything else, so the learning curve has seemed greater. Some of the hard things I have learned:

1. Just because I was a mom of five already, it did not make me an expert on parenting a 6th
2. Bringing home a two year old is NOT like bringing home an infant
3. There is a learning curve that takes some time to understand
4. Flexibility is essential
5. Some days are just down right hard and less joyful
6. Don't set each other up for failure
7. Dreaming of how it will be can be different in reality

Some of these may seem so obvious, I realize that. I really had pictured how this experience was going to be, and there was very little if any negative I could imagine. Our agency had us take many hours of adoption training, we had 5 kids already, one with significant needs - how hard could this really be? Many people compared this experience to bringing home a newborn. I LOVE newborns - no problem! Well that brings in point number 1 and 2. For me this experience has been completely unique. It is not like bringing home a newborn, unless your newborns have come home hitting and hurting your other children. That was so hard for me to watch Kate getting hurt. It had never happened before in our home, and it was not a pleasant experience. I wanted so desperately for John to feel loved and accepted so I was not sure how to help him feel that while I was feeling mamma bear protection over Kate. Time heals and with some patience and some love and some discipline it has worked itself out. Now they love each other like siblings, but in the beginning it was just hate and jealousy. That was really hard to experience.

I want to talk a little bit about setting each other up for failure. This was something that took awhile for me to figure out. Here is an example of what I mean. Nap times were a combination of a necessity and a nightmare. We had the kids sleeping in the same room, which they loved. However, at nap time they turned into Tasmanian Devils and absolutely destroyed their room. I mean they would take every book and throw them on the floor, sometimes they would rip the books to shreds, they would empty all drawers of clothes, they would urinate all over the beds and bedding and sometimes I would find feces smeared all over anything they could be smeared - including Kate! It would take me hours to clean the room back up. I needed alone time so desperately that I would continue to put us through this nightmare. Then it hit me -  I was setting the kids and myself up for failure. So I started slowly eliminating problems, by the time I was done with the "elimination" they only had beds left in their room - nothing else - no books, no book shelves, no dressers and no clothes that they could reach. I even went a step further and bought zip up jammies that they would wear back words - and when that wasn't enough, I would zip them up back wards with a safety clip attached for safe measure! Yeah - it was extreme. We were in desperate times people! But once I realized that we were all failing, and that in turn we all deserved some success during this transition, it was an easy choice. Nap times became pleasant again and good for all of us.

I am not going to hit on all points. After that last paragraph do you really want me to say more? Yeah, I didn't think so. Time is a great healer. Be gentle to yourself. Some days you may just be a baby sitter instead of mother of the year - that is ok. Things are so much better now, that those really hard times feel like a distant memory, and something that we can just remember instead of experience daily!