Missing Our Girl

For anyone who has or is adopting, you will understand it when I say I am missing my girl. True, I have never met her. True, I know very little about her. True, I don't know when I will have an update. But boy do I love her, and boy do I miss her. I am her mom and we are her family. This wait can feel excruciatingly painful and long at times.

Last week I was feeling like this a lot. Her absence was so tangible, that I was certain that I was going to get a phone call every single day saying that we had our LOA. You can imagine how disappointed I was every single day last week - to the point of distraction - no LOA. I could barely think about anything else. This week I have resolved to be a mom to the kids I have in my presence because I can actually control that, and things are much better.

I thought I would share a little excerpt of a book we made for her and sent to her at Christmas. It is an introduction to our family through the ABCs. I hope they are sharing it with her so she can sort of get to know us too. I made one for John, and it was very clear that he had seen it a lot because he totally new us when he saw us - pretty awesome experience actually.

Are They Twins?

I get this question a lot! Strangers are always stopping me asking if John and Kate are twins. When I first started getting these inquiries I would laugh out loud. I mean come on, there are some obvious things proving the contrary! One is Asian. One is Caucasian.  They are three months apart. They don't look a like. I couldn't help but laugh.

However, as time has gone on I have had the privileged  of observing these two on a daily basis. They are always together. They are either laughing their heads off together or crying their eyes out because of the other. They love to play together, they have their inside jokes. They go to school together, are in the same church class together. They love the same movies. They love each other dearly (and dislike each other sometimes). They are the best of friends.

So my answer now when I get asked, "Are they twins?"  I reply, "Sure!"

Kate is all girl! She is always in pink.

John is all boy! This is his favorite outfit - he wants to wear it every single day!

They share secrets and inside jokes

One is always copying the other

They laugh together

They love each other

They are always found together

They are always involved in some sort of conversation

They look like twins to me!

The Love Month

Since it is February, I thought I would share these pictures of my kiddos loving on each other, and pictures that make me feel such raw loving emotions towards my kids when I see them. I am taking a photography class again. It is really getting me out of my comfort zone and pushing me to try new things. I really am enjoying it.

Look who turned 15!

Cora is now 15!!!! I feel like this really ages me. She is such a great girl, and I feel really lucky to be her mom. She just made National Honor's Society and has had two challenging ballet auditions two weekends in a row. She has really stepped out of her comfort zone and is really pushing herself to accomplish more. She has her driver's permit, is a great big sister, a great daughter, a wonderful friend, and a terrific person! Happy Birthday cute girl.

A little sad, a little fun

We took our dog Jack Jack down to a trainer for about a 3 month stay today. It was an emotional ride to say the least for our kiddos. It is sad to say good-bye to our cute dog, but he is getting really good at being naughty. I feel like I already have my hands full just with Kate, John and Lincoln - they all feel like 4-year olds. If you add our 7-month old dog, it feels like four 4-year olds. That is more than this mom can take. So off to a trainer to teach him to become a "good citizen" and a good hunting dog to boot.

He had no idea what he was getting into

Found a best friend immediately named Pocket

Lydia was not happy to say good-bye

Brig had a little bit of his heart pulled out 

On the way back from our tearful good-bye, we stopped at some hot springs. It was a cold day, but a fun experience. The springs were true to their name - hot, which was fine by me. The kids had a great time.

A little R&R

Rick had last week off, so we decided to celebrate it by taking the kids out of school and heading down to SLC for a little R&R.  I have been feeling a little stressed out. Motherhood can be exhausting at times (go figure) and it feels a little bit like ground hog day - the same thing over and over and over and over again!

It has been a long time since we have taken a vacation - like a real vacation. Of course we have been to China, but anyone who has been there for an adoption trip knows it is no vacation. Lately I keep thinking I want a vacation but knowing all too well that my next vacation will be to China again. I guess I have felt a little panicky - when will I ever have a "real" vacation again?

But I discovered something while in SLC. I didn't necessarily need a vacation from my family but more from myself. It is so easy to fall into the I am the mom who gets things done trap - the house is clean, the kids are at their activities, the kids are in bed, I'm back in the car, blah blah blah. It had been a really long time since I took "a vacation from my problems" (thank you Bill Murray and What About Bob). So I took a vacation from that mom and became the fun mom. I focused mostly on the girls this weekend, and we did lots of girly things. We went to lunch, went shopping, got our nails done, ate cupcakes, went to dinner and finished things off by going to see Ballet West perform "Sleeping Beauty"(which was absolutely fantastic!!!!) We invited my dad, Pop to my kids, to join us for dinner and the ballet. He is a great man and so much fun!

We had such a great time bonding and having fun. I am a  new person and that was a super easy fix!

Thank you Sweet Tooth Fairy!

Capital Theater with Pop and my girls

My dad with his biggest fan club

This was also a pretty big weekend for Cora. She auditioned for Ballet West's summer intensive. She was pretty much freaked and scared out of her head, but after a great pep talk from Pop, she pulled herself together, faced a fear, and knocked their socks off at the audition. That was a proud parenting moment! I could not be more proud of my beautiful girl.Way to go Cora!!!

Walking into her audition!